Alright, let’s jaw about this 2024 Hummer SUV, ya hear? It’s a big ol’ thing, like a barn on wheels, but it moves faster than a greased pig at the county fair.
Now, they say it can go from zero to sixty in three seconds flat. That’s quicker than my grandson Billy Bob can run to the dinner table when I holler “supper’s ready!” Can you believe it? A car as big as a house goin’ that fast? It’s plum crazy, I tell ya. They also say it can hit 120 miles an hour, but where you gonna go that fast, I ask ya? Maybe on them fancy racetracks, but not around here, that’s for sure. We got too many potholes and chickens in the road for that kinda speed.
And get this, they start sellin’ these things for around eighty thousand dollars! Eighty thousand! That’s more money than I ever seen in my whole life. You could buy a whole farm for that much, and still have enough left over for a new tractor and a couple of good milk cows. But I reckon some folks got more money than sense.
- Price: Starts at $79,995. That’s a whole lotta dough!
- Speed: 0 to 60 mph in 3 seconds. Faster than a blinkin’ eye!
- Top Speed: 120 mph. You’ll be flyin’ like a bat outta heck!
- Seats: Seven folks can squeeze in this beast. Good for big families, I guess.
They say it’s electric, too. No gas, just plug it in like a toaster oven. That sounds mighty convenient, but I don’t know. We had a fella come through town last year with one of them electric cars, and he was stuck at the diner for half a day waitin’ for it to charge. Said it took forever. And these here Hummers, they say they even take longer – 20 hours to charge at home from empty to full. Can you believe that? You could milk a cow twice in that time. And if you try to charge it fast at them special stations, it costs a fortune, like thirty-two dollars for just a little bit of juice. That’s more than a whole tank of gas for my old pickup truck.
Now, they say it’s got all sorts of fancy doodads inside. Big screens and buttons and whatnot. I don’t need none of that fancy stuff. All I need is a radio that works and a heater that keeps my backside warm in the winter. But I guess some folks like all them bells and whistles.
They say it’s good for haulin’ things, too. And it better be, for that price. You ought to be able to haul a whole load of hay in that thing, or maybe a couple of pigs to the market. But I bet it’s too pretty to get all muddy and dirty. You wouldn’t want to scratch that shiny paint, would ya?
This Hummer SUV, it’s one of them EVs, they call ‘em. Electric vehicles. Means it runs on batteries, not gas. Now, I ain’t no expert on these newfangled contraptions, but I hear they’re supposed to be good for the environment. Less smokin’ and fumin’, I guess. That’s all well and good, but I still like the sound of a good ol’ V8 engine. There’s somethin’ about that rumble that just makes you feel powerful.
But back to this Hummer. It’s a big ol’ seven-seater, so you can haul the whole family and then some. That’s good if you got a bunch of kids or grandkids. But I reckon it’d be a pain to park in town. You’d need a whole city block to turn that thing around.
I heard tell that this here Hummer’s got a powerful motor. They call it the 3X or somethin’. Said it’s got more power than a team of mules. That’s a lot of power, let me tell ya. Mules are strong critters. But I don’t know what you’d need all that power for, unless you’re plannin’ on pullin’ stumps or somethin’.
Anyway, that’s what I know about this 2024 Hummer SUV. It’s big, it’s fast, it’s expensive, and it’s electric. Whether it’s worth all that money is up to you. Me, I’ll stick with my old pickup truck. It ain’t pretty, but it gets the job done. And it don’t cost me an arm and a leg to fill up the tank.
