Alright, let’s talk about this… what’s it called? EQE 350+ SUV, yeah, that’s it. Sounds fancy, don’t it? Like somethin’ a city slicker would drive.
So, this here thing, it’s electric. You know, like them golf carts but bigger, way bigger. And it’s a “luxury” SUV. Luxury, huh? Means it costs a pretty penny, I reckon. They say it’s got all sorts of power, like horses, but it ain’t got no horses, it’s got this… motor thingy. A “rear perm synchronous electric motor,” they call it. Sounds complicated, but I guess it makes the wheels go round. It’s got 288 horses, or somethin’ like that. And it can go a long ways on a charge, like, they say, almost 300 miles. That’s a lot of drivin’, more than I do in a month!
Now, they got different kinds of this EQE SUV. Some got two motors, one for each wheel, I think. They call that “all-wheel drive.” Means it can go through mud better, maybe? I don’t know, I ain’t ever driven one. They say some are stronger than others too. One’s got 402 horses, can you believe that? What in the world would you need that much power for? You ain’t gonna be racin’ cows, are ya?
- They say this here EQE 350+ is a sedan, but then they say it’s an SUV. Makes no sense to me. Sedans are low to the ground, SUVs are big and tall, like trucks. This one’s the tall one, the SUV.
- And the price? Lordy! Starts at somethin’ like $74,900. That’s more money than I’ve seen in my whole life! And some of ‘em cost even more, like $77,900. For a car? Crazy, I tell ya.
- They talk about “torque” too. Somethin’ about how fast it can go, I guess. The more torque, the faster it goes, makes sense. This one’s got a bunch of it, more than some trucks, they say.
They keep blabberin’ about “luxury.” Luxury this, luxury that. What does that even mean? I guess it means it’s got fancy seats, maybe leather, and a radio that plays all them newfangled songs. And maybe it’s got somethin’ called “wireless chargin’ pad.” I guess you can put your phone on it and it charges up, like magic. And they say it’s got “driver assistance systems,” which probably means it helps you drive so you don’t gotta pay so much attention, but I don’t know if I like that, seems dangerous to me.
They compare this EQE SUV to some other cars, like the EQS SUV. I ain’t never heard of neither of ‘em. And they talk about other brands too, like Mazda and Volvo. They all make SUVs, I guess. And there’s this “Lucid Motors” company, they make electric cars too, fancy ones. Everyone’s makin’ these electric cars now, seems like.
You can buy these cars online, they say. Just click a few buttons and they bring it right to your door. Can you imagine that? Buyin’ a car without even kickin’ the tires? And they say you can compare prices online too, find the best deal. But I bet they’re all expensive, no matter where you buy ‘em.
They even talk about how long these cars last. Ten years, 100,000 miles, they say. That’s a long time, a lot of drivin’. But I bet fixin’ ‘em costs a fortune if somethin’ breaks. All that fancy electric stuff, I don’t know how they even work.
So, this EQE 350+ SUV, it’s fancy, it’s powerful, it’s expensive, and it’s electric. Sounds like a city slicker car to me. Me? I’ll stick with my old pickup truck. It ain’t fancy, but it gets the job done, and I know how to fix it if it breaks down.
But hey, if you got the money and you want somethin’ fancy and new, I guess this EQE SUV might be alright. Just don’t go racin’ no cows with it, ya hear?
Tags: [EQE 350+ SUV, Electric SUV, Luxury SUV, Mercedes-Benz, EV, All-Wheel Drive, Torque, Horsepower, Car Review]
